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Thursday, January 12, 2012

Please Learn To Call Me In Your Dreams, Pt. 1




Please Learn To Call Me In Your Dreams, Pt. 1

I am almost asleep, but not quite
the phone rings as if it might be
part of some sadistic dream
I am turning into a nightmare
but, I get it, finally
I wake up and grab the vibrating thing
just before it falls to the floor

"Hey, did I wake you?"

I am not quite aware
enough to answer
truthfully

"No, I was just laying here...uh,
on the couch..."
the lie pulls me into consciousness

"So, are you going to send me that piece
you wrote for the upcoming issue?"

I hesitate a moment, WTF is she...oh, yeah...
                                                          the piece...right...
"I have it almost ready, a couple
more days is all...is that gonna work for you?"
I am not really sure what day it is or what
upcoming refers to in any sort of time frame

"Well, I want to look it over and give you feedback, is all."
go fuck yourself, I will wipe your genetic code from the face of existence
"You know, tie up all the loose ends, typos, cut the fat, an editor has to
do her job."
why the fuck did I agree to this...fucking lames that think they can write
or wrestle the meaning of someone's art with their bland machine
with their conformist mechanics, their protogeekist tool hands
their heartless, mindless software residue plans
trying to gum up my fucking works

I gave up killing snitches, traitors, backstabbers along with all other
forms of miscreant DNA drivel so I could live a little bit longer
so I could maybe have a shot at a bit of freedom I was
never able to make happen the way I had been living
since I was just a kid...I gave up...almost...
there are a few thing no one can take from me...

"Yeah, I thought it was the piece you read that you wanted,
why don't you just tell me what you want to do to it? Maybe
it is not what you want after all. Maybe you need another
style of writing that I don't do."

"Well, Andrew,"(I could send someone to your house at 5am
for calling me anything but what you know you should call me...)
"I hope its OK if I call you that? (Actually, no its not, who the fuck
do you think you are?) " Anyway, Andrew, I just wanted to explain
to you that its my job to edit your piece into something that fits into
our literary journal so that it has a cohesion to the rest of the work in there."

why is this persons problem mine all of a sudden?
oh yeah, I was being agreeable with civilians again
they play by a different set of rules
adhere to a different set of principles
they are all politely clawing & scratching
for some recognition in the greatest of
senses for the mediocre choices they have made
they never joined a side, they just asked for protection
from involvement for their capitulation to the hive mentality
they take all these ideas so serious, like freedom under the god
of the constitution that is guaranteed by the armed forces they
turn a blind eye to when the corruption falls onto people at the bottom
of the pile...they are like rabbits used as bait to trap the combatants who
would rather die than give up their allegiance to unfettered freedom of total
refusal to be governed by political manipulations that corrupt people into marks
for the systemic oversight of institutional living with minds held in bondage from
seeing or seeking the truth about the life of the beast that is the human animal as
it stands as one part of a whole universal system that is greater than any construct
of laws that are instituted to give false senses of security to drones of complicity as they
drone on into the future of an antiseptic lock step marching of codified ideations of artistic
output...wait...she is still talking...it seems she has asked a question...I don't have a clue...
"Yeah, I will send it to you in a couple of days...is that okay?"

"Umm, sure...are you okay? Did you understand what I was getting at?"
...this is what I get for being agreeable and lying...I must make amends...

"yeah, look, to be honest, I was sleeping. I don't think your publication is right for me.
nothing personal, but I am more simple in my terms of creation, of creative output...
sorry for the misunderstanding on my part...as for your part, my name is razor...don't
call me if you can't call me by my name...please learn to call me in your dreams from now on...thanks
                                                                                                                                                     good bye"

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